so that wasnt chicken after all
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
