And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
