Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This is the high leading the old right now
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
