I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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