Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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