you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
