Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
