we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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