As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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