I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
