I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My life is pants optional.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
