We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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