i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
