What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
