I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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