uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
