I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
im six kinds of drunk right now
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
