He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
