How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
