I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
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