addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
