I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I understand Curling. That high.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
