I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Your penis caused this!
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