Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
