You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
