Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
