We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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