hotel room ftw
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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