We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
These tits shall not be calmed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
