Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
