Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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