My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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