My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
only you would photoshop your dick
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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