I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
