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Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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