I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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