We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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