Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I have tasted many bathrooms
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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