I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
