I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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