Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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