Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
