He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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