it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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