you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
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My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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