It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm passing your future prison.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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