I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
