I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
