I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
