Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
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that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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