I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm getting married
To pizza
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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