he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
