shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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