this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
