marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
