You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize