You made me cry and you don't even care
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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