I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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