it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
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there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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