so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
