is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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