Hey man sorry I got all grabby
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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