are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
