That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
