why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
