a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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