i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize