haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
